What People.com is calling "News" these days...

Ugh! I was reading People.com today to get a respite from Paper and Resume writing and I was completely BORED by the top 5 stories on people.com . They are THE LEAST surprising stories on earth, even i could have written them.

1) Bristol Pail and Fiancee Split- surprise surprise! Who is surprised by this at all? Wasn't the writing already on the wall when they were two 17 year old Republican hicks who got accidentally pregnant and then forced to get engaged when mom Sarah Palin ran for VP? Did anyone really expect them to get married? What will be next: a second preganancy for BristoL? *yawn*

2) Jon Mayer and Jen A split- big freaking surprise if anyone thought that the pairing of these two losers was not a stint for publicity, I dont know what to say.

3) Mandy Moores wedding has "tears, romance"l...its a freaking wedding. ANd who cares about Mandy Moore and "Ryan Adams?"

4) howard k. stern arrested on drug charges...

a chimp could have written that!

Song of the Week

Since I have been updating so 'frequently', I have decided to add a song of the week.  Perhaps I will update more now that it is 'tax season', and I have much more free time...

Song of the week:  'Here I Am' - Al Green

Love, 

Jenny

Star Jones out for a walk

Celeb lawyer and gossip-monger "Star Jones" was spotted taking herself for a walk on Tuesday. The stylista, former mouthpiece on fiesty chatfest "The View" and later beard to Al Reynolds, was seen out and about near her Beverly Hills home. The star was spotted wearing the latest in Swarovski beaded coll- necklaces and had her nails painted in the trendy new color, black.

Back to you, Star!

Fucking Losers

Okay, so...it's come to my attention that I don't "post enough." I mean, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Who even reads this blog? Who has the time?? With everything going on in the world today, with Obama's historic election, the greatest economic recession in over a score, Jodi Sweetin's split from husband Cory Herpin and Heidi and Spencer's fake wedding, you'd think people have enough to worry about without complaining about a lack of posts from your fine bloggers.

Speaking of Heidi and Spencer, I mean...their marraige, not that I even read about it, is not even legal. Its like non-news. Its about as real as the TomKat union. NON-EXISTENT! I mean, Taylor Hansen has fourth baby? BIG DEAL- I'm sure its four in a long line of many. He's not the first Hansen brother to procreate. Emphasis on "not" and "first." If something good in the celebrity world would happen, maybe I would write about it.

Now, if one of our fine legions of fans would do something "newsworthy," then, I might also even write about that.

So, until that time...I'll be waiting.

Jesus Fucking Christ

Bronx? Mowgli? Bronx Mowgli Simpson-Wentz? Just when you thought people couldn't hate their babies anymore, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have raised the bar to an all new level. I really hope the baby takes after its dad on the nose-side and height on the moms!!

People.com has a poll up currently- which "place" name do you like the best, with the choices being "Bronx," Brooklyn, Paris, Alabama and Kingston, among others (Ireland, Carlyle (Hotel), Nikki (Beach), Eden, Savannah! Its like, come on people, what ever happened to good old fashioned, beautiful names like Elizabeth, Matthew, Alissa. I remember the times when people were name their babies "Pilot Inspektor" and people actually blinked and thought it was weird. Now these "place" names are becoming mainstream America. If Bristol Palin even names her baby Alaska, I'm moving to Canada.

Ashlee Simpson Gives Birth to a Borough

After years of anticipation, Ashlee Simpson has FINALLY given birth.....

Jumping on the bandwagon of her celebrity peers, Ashlee gives her son the bizarre name of 'Bronx Mowgli Wentz'.

Mowgli is the main character of 'The Jungle Book', a favorite book of the young couple. 'Tha Bronx' is where the happy couple consummated their love. Well, at least that is my theory on the matter.

If I were to follow suit on their naming scheme, my child would be named......

BECKY MIAMI

After my favorite fictional character, Becky, from the Shopaholic book series. And Miami, the lovely city where magic happens. Sounds like a porn star child to me.

Ashley Dupre is a slut... I mean, a 'Normal Girl'.

Last February, Ashley Dupre rose to stardom by sleeping with 'Client 9', AKA Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New York. What a smart girl. If you are going to have sex for money, you may as well sleep with a high profile individual, and get your 15 minutes of fame out of the deal.

Today Ashley is claiming she is a 'normal girl', currently living with her homemaker mother and stepfather. She claims to have 'lots of depth, lots of layers'.

It really sounds like it, Girlfriend. All 'Normal Girls' I know tramp around with Governors' of their respective states. And of course get paid for it. And obviously the media just happens to 'catch' the lovely couple in the act.

The way I see it, Spitzer's life is now over. He lost his job, and I am sure he will lose his poor wife. Ashley's, however, is not. I am sure her 15 minutes of fame is by no means over. I am sure she will go on 'to do music, to do fasion, to write books - there's just so many things'. If I ever buy something from the 'Ashley Slut-pre' fashion line, just kill me now.

I look forward to seeing her 'succeed' with her endeavors. In the end, I am sure we will just see what high profile politician she seduces next.