Jesus Fucking Christ

Bronx? Mowgli? Bronx Mowgli Simpson-Wentz? Just when you thought people couldn't hate their babies anymore, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have raised the bar to an all new level. I really hope the baby takes after its dad on the nose-side and height on the moms!!

People.com has a poll up currently- which "place" name do you like the best, with the choices being "Bronx," Brooklyn, Paris, Alabama and Kingston, among others (Ireland, Carlyle (Hotel), Nikki (Beach), Eden, Savannah! Its like, come on people, what ever happened to good old fashioned, beautiful names like Elizabeth, Matthew, Alissa. I remember the times when people were name their babies "Pilot Inspektor" and people actually blinked and thought it was weird. Now these "place" names are becoming mainstream America. If Bristol Palin even names her baby Alaska, I'm moving to Canada.

Ashlee Simpson Gives Birth to a Borough

After years of anticipation, Ashlee Simpson has FINALLY given birth.....

Jumping on the bandwagon of her celebrity peers, Ashlee gives her son the bizarre name of 'Bronx Mowgli Wentz'.

Mowgli is the main character of 'The Jungle Book', a favorite book of the young couple. 'Tha Bronx' is where the happy couple consummated their love. Well, at least that is my theory on the matter.

If I were to follow suit on their naming scheme, my child would be named......

BECKY MIAMI

After my favorite fictional character, Becky, from the Shopaholic book series. And Miami, the lovely city where magic happens. Sounds like a porn star child to me.

Ashley Dupre is a slut... I mean, a 'Normal Girl'.

Last February, Ashley Dupre rose to stardom by sleeping with 'Client 9', AKA Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New York. What a smart girl. If you are going to have sex for money, you may as well sleep with a high profile individual, and get your 15 minutes of fame out of the deal.

Today Ashley is claiming she is a 'normal girl', currently living with her homemaker mother and stepfather. She claims to have 'lots of depth, lots of layers'.

It really sounds like it, Girlfriend. All 'Normal Girls' I know tramp around with Governors' of their respective states. And of course get paid for it. And obviously the media just happens to 'catch' the lovely couple in the act.

The way I see it, Spitzer's life is now over. He lost his job, and I am sure he will lose his poor wife. Ashley's, however, is not. I am sure her 15 minutes of fame is by no means over. I am sure she will go on 'to do music, to do fasion, to write books - there's just so many things'. If I ever buy something from the 'Ashley Slut-pre' fashion line, just kill me now.

I look forward to seeing her 'succeed' with her endeavors. In the end, I am sure we will just see what high profile politician she seduces next.

Open letter to Simpson-Wentz baby.

Dear Baby Simpson-Wentz,

You are obviously is too embarassed to come out in the world as the child of two eye-liner wearing, clothes designing, faux-punk-rock emo mom/dads. Your parents stole your idea for an Alice in Wonderland themed baby-shower for their wedding. Your dad wears all your sixe 6T clothes already, and really, they fit. I get it. If I were you, I wouldn't want to come out either.

I know your mom and dad are thinking of inducing labor, and that your mom is "jumping around" and doing "everything" including "foot massages" to get you to come out, but I'm with you, baby!

Anyway, I know you'll have to face facts sooner or later, and I wish you the best in this world. Look at it this way: at least you have your auntie Jess and Grandpa Joe to keep your normal! oh....

Heather Lockler + Guy Richie = Love Foreva Eva.

So I guess the big question today on everyone's mind is:  Will you watch the 5th season of The Hills?  Yes people there WILL be a 5th season. 

Great.  Just peachy.  . Now I am a HUGE fan of celebrity television. That is really the only thing I watch other than old episodes of 90210 and Gossip Girl.  And I even loved The Hills for the first 3 seasons.  But PLEASE people.  How many episodes can we watch of Spencer and Heidi fighting, Lauren and Heidi fighting, Audrina and Lauren fighting, blah blah.  *Yawn*. BOOORING.  

Although, I am pretty psyched about my girl Whitney having her own show though.  She is so cute and interesting and friendly, and at least she has half a brain on her.   I will be looking VERY forward to seeing her on The City. Rock on Whit!

Heather, heather, heather...  Today you were 'formally charged' with a DUI.  WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?  Your poor daughter.  Guy Richie, your poor ex-hubby.  Oh wait, I mean Ritchie Sambora, your poor estranged hubby. Gosh, why does everyone in Hollywood have the same names!

Anyway, Heather, my suggestions to you are as follows:

1.  Stab Denise in the back by seducing her *weird* father.

2.  Go after Guy Richie.  And bond with David Banda.  That would really piss off Madge.

3.  Lock up that cute daughter of yours - once she turns 13, your life is really going down the tubes.

In regards to *Arissa's* post.  Debbie Maternalodsfdksjfkdjfdlskfjdslkjfsdfdslkfds.  Suggestion for you - get rid of that name!  You are free baby, you are free of that horrid name!

"Debbie Matenapoulos "Saddened" by Husband's Divorce Proceedings"

Trust us, Debbie...we are *all* saddened...by you and your career. I mean, I don't really know Debbie Maolsoiujgasgpouls but seriously, she's annoying as all hell. She was on the View, and she is on E! If I was her husband, I would probobly secretly divorce her, too.

PLUS, he probably DID try to tell her but she's too stupid to even listen or comprehend words in person, and only understands what she reads in celebrity on-line tabloids, so he probably took the only avenue available to him to communicate with her. I mean, she has the worst orange tan.

Debbie, I am all for you, girlfriend, if you would get your life together and maybe...learn something. Good luck to BOTH of you.

Well, if it isn't our favorite mini-moguls. You will soon learn that Miss Mary Kate Olsen is my FAVORITE celebrity in the business.  I am sure the 'world' would beg to differ, but I LOVE her boho-sheik look.  Baggy dressed, rumpled hair, I will take it all.  It will never, ever get old.

Ashley, however, I could care less about.  I even wanted to but an 'X' through her face, but another day another time.  I am feeling quite cheery right now.

Oh LL.  Hold on to that girl of yours.  Sammie is doing wonders for your life.  You look better.  You act better (well not acting as in 'performing' per se, just your actions are much better).  In fact, if I heard you two were to become engaged, I would be over the moon. Although since you can no longer get married in California, you could always come to Massachusetts for your nuptials.  

Speaking of California marriages, or lack thereof.  I wonder what will happen with this.  I am all for same-sex marriages.  If two people are in love, they should be able to share that love with each other, their family, friends, etc.  I guess it remains to be seen what will happen with California, and the many other states that have not yet passed same-sex marriages.

The Start of a Beautiful Thing

The low-down on me.  Jenny - A 26 year-old young professional, living around Boston, working at a CPA firm by day (*yawn*, I know).  By night, a poker star, wine-loving, scrapbook extraordinaire, shopaholic, celeb-crazed person.  

The deal with the blog. My roommate and I (Alissa... I will let her introduce herself) will be posting various personal, current event, celebrity-based items, hopefully going back and forth, and having an 'argument' or two.  We can both be quite straight-forward, honest (bitchy, perhaps?) people - so should make for some juicy postings.

We will see what it turns into - but I can only hope that it is the start of a beautiful thing.